Ever Had a Full Out, Embarrassing Meltdown in Front of Your Spouse??

Yeahhhhhhhh........me neither.

Okay, THAT'S a total lie. If you know me well enough, then you probably knew that. I can certainly be an emotional hot mess.

With today being my birthday, I was reflecting on how my birthday went last year. My husband had begun building our dream home (I literally mean HE built it) and I was single mommin' it up with two dramatic girls and a baby on the way (I actually found out a year ago today that I was having a BOY!) I was feeling incredibly alone because I had gotten so used to spending our evenings as a whole family. I literally saw him before he left for work and then when he crawled into bed late from working on the house.

So, when he agreed to date night, I was over the moon excited! We were going to go eat hibachi and then go watch #bohemianrhapsody because it had just come out and I am a HUGE Queen fan. Friday night came, I had "date night hair" and I was just so giddy leaving work (it's almost embarrassing sometimes how much I love my husband). Then, the text came through on my phone---"I just don't think I'm going to have time to make tonight happen." He was telling me he was super busy between work and working on the house and really couldn't afford to take an evening off.

Ladies who thrive on quality time and words of affirmation, you'll probably feel me here----because I read it as "I don't have time for you." Plain and simple, that's EXACTLY how I took it, because I am an emotional girl. Period. I was completely heartbroken....shattered. I had been missing him so much and had been counting down the days and he couldn't even make time for me? Then, because I got upset, he changed his mind, but changed the location and added Menard's to the date????

WOOOOOO, girl....you betcha....I threw a full out fit. It's what my family likes to call a "Schmidt fit". #schmidtfit.....we're trademarking that! I'm talking uncontrollable sobbing, labored breathing, snot flying everywhere, hiding under a blanket, then in the closet, and refusing to come out.

<Hi, my name is Rochelle, and I am acting like a giant 5 year old, K?>

A few minutes into it, I started to feel like a terrible person for over reacting. Then, I couldn't stop crying because I was embarrassed that I had acted this way. I KNEW this was going to be a hard time. I KNEW that I was going to be taking care of the kids by myself for a LONG time. We planned and prepared, and I was embarrassed that I wasn't handling it.

This could've gone many ways of wrong. In years past, this normally would have ended up in a huge, unnecessary argument. But this had been our biggest year for growth. So, instead, my husband asked me to come out and asked why I was embarrassed. We talked it out. He held me and listened. I listened. He explained. I explained. We worked as a team. We had a date night at Menards, it snowed just for us, and I survived. ;) All I could think after was, "He listened to the podcast I sent him!!!" It's LIIIIIFE, ya'll! Check it out, linked below!

I think one of the hardest parts of being in a relationship is learning how to communicate WHEN IT'S NOT AN EASY CONVO. We don't want to "fight" and wish to avoid confrontation. We just want everything to stay "perfect". Friends, that's just not what a relationship is. Holding in emotions for fear of confrontation will most definitely result in a full blown explosion. Then, everything starts piling up and it seems like all you're doing is fighting. Because you didn't talk it out when the feelings were fresh and those emotions turned into bottled up resentment. I can't stress this enough- relationships are NOT easy. They take a lot of work from both parties. There's so much good, but naturally, there's going to be some bad. It is also really hard to move forward when only one party is growing. Some very hard convos might need to happen. They might REALLY suck. But if you want the relationship to grow and flourish, those convos need to be had....sometimes repeatedly. Don't ever give up on a relationship just because it hits a hard season, or because it doesn't size up to Suzie Homemaker's relationship that's being blasted on social media. Suzie can suck it as far as I'm concerned, because no relationship is perfect and she's fooling you into thinking yours isn't one to be proud of. IT IS!

Have those hard convos with your spouse the same way you love them, with your whole heart. It will be worth it.

Much love,

Rochelle <3