He Put His Arms Around My Stomach and I Flinched...

I KNOW I can't be the only woman out there that has had this reaction. For me, it first happened after I had my first child. It was even worse after my second child and a pretty big weight gain. I didn't realize how often I flinched until one day, he just stopped wrapping his arms around me. I was hurt...big time. See, I turned those insecurities I had about myself into it being his fault I felt that way. Ugh, anyone else been there?

I was convinced HE had stopped finding me attractive....that HE was repulsed by my squishy tummy....that HE didn't want to touch me. Ladies, if you're going through any version of this, I'm going to drop a hard truth that it took me way too long to realize------I was the one that had hurt HIM.

He didn't care about my squishy tummy. He didn't care about my size or my shape.He continually tried to show me that through physical touch. Every time I flinched, he felt like I didn't WANT him to touch me. He felt that I had stopped wanting him.

Do you see how miscommunication can totally twist things? We were both experiencing the same feelings, not realizing what the other one was feeling.

I've come a long way since then. We both have! We talked out all those feelings, learning each other's love languages, and grew along the way.

If I'm being honest, it's not really that my husband changed. It's that I did. I learned to love who I am in the exact moment I am in. I had to realize that he needed me to WANT him to wrap his arms around my stomach. NOT FLINCH.

Flash forward to post pardum with baby number 3......He still continues to wrap his arms around my stomach and I have not ONE TIME flinched. I know that he loves me and I know that he wants me to love myself. So that's what I'll keep working on every single day. I encourage you to do the same! =)

Much love,

Rochelle <3