I Can't Wait to Marry You So They Stop Questioning Why We're Together...

Still to this day, probably the hardest thing I've ever had to hear him say, and he 100% meant it to make me feel better.

MMMMMMHMMMMMM....We're getting deep quick, y'all!

Friends, I've been trying to think how I wanted to start out the relationship part of this blog. Do I start from the beginning or just post relatable advice with tangible experiences to support it? One thing I know about me in my years as a health and wellness coach---I just speak from my heart with whatever I'm feeling at that moment.

So come along with me as I take you all over the place. ;)

My husband and I were friends for almost two years before we started dating. I met him two boyfriends before him. He was the smiley guy I always saw at parties and took pics with. He was so much fun and I could talk to him all night! My best friend had a crush on him (seriously, that's how we met) and I thought he looked like a ten year old boy (see pic below if you don't believe me).

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I had come out of a serious relationship that ended terribly and he swept in FAST. He told me he'd been waiting for me to be single and he wasn't going to let me pass by again. I mean, cmon, right??? Because we'd known each other for so long, we fell hard and fast. I mean it when I say we were in love almost instantly and knew this was it.

But........forever and always, those around us would never believe it, because three months into our relationship, I got pregnant. At that time, we were pushed by his family to get married because it was "the right thing to do by the Church". We absolutely refused because we would have been getting married for all the wrong reasons. So, we chose to build a new relationship and grow/raise a baby all at the same time.

Throughout this time, I had to withstand all kinds of rumors and terrible comments whispered about me from members of his circle.

*I had "trapped" him.

*He was such a sweet guy and I was just going to break his heart.

*I had ruined his life.

*He was only staying with me because he was a good guy and it was the "right thing to do".

*There was no way he could actually love me.

*He even had a friend tell him that he had to choose between her and 4 month pregnant me (I will NEVER forget the pain in his eyes when he told me this).

There were many more comments made, but I am BAWLING as I type this and I'm growing, not dwelling on the past, so that's enough.

Y'all, we let those things bother us SOOOO much. We felt like we were fighting so many battles just to prove to everyone else that we really did love each other. IT WAS SOOOOO HARD.

I remember laying on the couch with him as he said "I can't wait to marry you so my friends know how I really feel about you". I know he didn't mean for it to be a negative blow to me, but it broke my heart.

It was in that moment that our relationship grew in leaps and bounds. Because why on Earth did it matter what anyone thought? This relationship was about the two of us and NOONE else. It was nobody else's damn business. We knew it and we stopped caring what anyone else had to say. This is one of the reasons we are not a PDA couple. We have nothing to prove, we know how we feel, and we choose to keep that part of our lives private. On June 25, 2011, we showed up in front of our family and friends, not to prove anything to anyone, but to come before God and profess our love for each other in the Church and be united in marriage forever BECAUSE WE KNEW WE WANTED TO SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER.

Friends, if you are in a healthy relationship and the opinions of others are weighing you down----just STOP! I'm sorry that you're going through that, and I feel you, but it is none of their business! Zero. Family or friends, I don't care......it is YOUR relationship and you need to grow through it YOUR way. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Do not let anyone else dictate the outcome of your relationship. Because if you continue to listen to those outside sources, I can promise it will become the center of many unnecessary arguments. If people aren't in your corner, you just might need to distance yourself from those people. It's hard, relationships are hard, but if your relationship is in a positive space, you don't need negativity surrounding it. It should always be growing and you can't grow if you're surrounded by negativity.

To my main squeeze, thanks for loving every part of who I am, and for marrying me for all the right reasons. This life is amazing because of you. Thanks for GLOWING up with me. <3

Much love,

Rochelle <3